


This Is It

by bmcgeeparker



Category: Blue Bloods (TV)
Genre: 08x22 Filler, F/M, Fluff, Gap Filler, No Smut, Romance, some steam, the proposal we deserved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:48:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27625646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bmcgeeparker/pseuds/bmcgeeparker
Summary: Yet another attempt to fill in the gap between the scene under the bridge and the dinner scene at the end of 08x22. I hope you give it a shot.
Relationships: Edit "Eddie" Janko/Jamie Reagan
Comments: 5
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know there are a ton of stories just like this one, and for that, I apologize. This plot bunny just niggled and wiggled at me until I caved and started writing. This has been a labor of love for days now.
> 
> I hope you enjoy! Please leave a review to let me know what you think.
> 
> Like many of us, I'm working off the assumption that the scene under the bridge occurred midday/mid-afternoon Friday, so this story starts there and goes right up to the family dinner scene.

Sirens wailing. Tires screeching. Voices shouting.

Eddie doesn't hear any of it.

All she can hear is the sound of her own heart thumping loudly in her chest and Jamie's voice whispering in her ear.

"It's ok. I'm ok. We're good."

She thinks she knows, somewhere deep in the back of her mind, what they look like right now, to all the other officers around, but she doesn't think she can let go of him. If she does, she might collapse. She might break down. But she might just do that anyway.

Slowly, the dry sobs escaping her throat subside and she returns to the present. Eddie pulls away from her partner quickly, like flinching away from a flame, and searches his face. She's not sure what she hopes to find there, but he knows her so well, he can read her confusion perfectly. He's not exactly sure what this means either. Not yet.

"Later," he says quietly, with a curt nod. She understands him to mean, we have a lot to talk about, and we will, just not now.

So they both snap out of it and get back to work. Answering questions. Getting checked out by EMTs. Filling out paperwork. Reliving the whole ordeal over and over. Neither of them is really sure how long it takes, or even how they get back to the precinct, but eventually they find themselves walking down the hall to the locker rooms.

Jamie stops her with a light tug on her jacket sleeve, near her elbow. She turns to him, but can't quite meet his eye just yet.

"Meet me outside when you're ready," he nearly whispers.

Quickly, so no one will notice, he puts a finger on her chin to make her look at him. When she does, he makes eye contact for a split second then smiles and walks to the men's locker room.

After a few more seconds in a daze, Eddie feels her feet begin to pull her toward the women's locker room.

... ... ... ...

Sometime later — she may have gotten showered, dressed, and out the locker room in 20 minutes; maybe it was over an hour; she really can't tell anymore — Eddie pushes open the doors of the 12th precinct and slowly makes her way down the steps onto the darkened sidewalk. She is mildly aware that her body, rather than her brain, seems to be controlling her movements, and she thinks — she knows — Jamie is waiting for her somewhere nearby. Whether it is muscle memory or something deep, deep inside her drawing her to wherever he is, she just walks. Within moments, she is standing less than five feet away from his car, where he casually leans against the hood, looking at his phone.

At the sound of her footsteps, Jamie's head snaps up. They make eye contact for a moment, then he turns and opens the car door for her to get in without saying a word.

Eddie doesn't say anything either. She just feels her body take the last few steps to reach the open door and climb in, like she's done so many times before. Jamie closes the door behind her silently and walks around the hood of the car to the driver's side. If it takes everything in him not to run the few steps it takes to reach his destination, no one would ever know.

The other door opens and Jamie slides in, while Eddie sits, still quiet, just looking out the windshield at the night around them. Jamie starts the car and pulls away from the curb, then almost without thinking, he silently reaches over to take her hand where it sits on her thigh. At the new, unexpected warmth, Eddie feels her stomach begin to untie the knots that have been tangling there since she started running out of the coffee shop, hours ago. Her gaze drifts to their hands sitting on her thigh and then out the side window to watch the city roll by as Jamie drives. Neither of them needs to say anything just yet. That will come in time.

... ... ... ...

It takes a few minutes for Eddie to realize he's driving to her apartment. Neither of them has said a word since before they parted for the locker rooms, so they haven't talked about getting food or drinks. But if Jamie wants it to just be the two of them, Eddie is okay with that.

He parks the car outside her building, and she manages to climb out on her own. When he reaches her side of the car, he pauses in front of her, not quite sure what to say first. But then he hears a loud rumbling sound and he knows he needs to get her some food.

With a soft chuckle, he asks, "Can I order us a pizza, and we go upstairs to talk?"

She offers him a small smile and a nod before reaching to take his hand. Jamie uses his free hand to pull his phone from his pocket and call their favorite pizza joint. By the time they reach her building from the car, their food is ordered. Jamie opens the outer door for her while she pulls her keys out.

When they get to the stairs, he gently takes her hand again. It's as though he feels like he needs physical contact with her however he can get it, and Eddie definitely isn't complaining. They reach her door and she takes her hand back to unlock the apartment, but then she feels his hands on her upper arms, rubbing there through her jacket. As the door swings open, she drops her head for a second and releases a soft sigh at his touch. So innocent, but also very intimate. It just feels natural. Eddie turns to smile at him and grabs his hand to pull him into her apartment.

What she really wants to do is slam him against the wall and start tearing their clothes off, but she knows they both need to be rational about this. From the look in his eyes, he's thinking the exact same thing. So instead, after taking a long, hard look at his face and letting her eyes wander down to his lips for a split second, she just closes the door behind him and gestures to her couch.

He's been to her apartment many times; he knows he can make himself at home here. He shrugs out of his jacket and kicks off his shoes while Eddie makes her way to the kitchen. Almost robotically, she grabs some napkins for the pizza and two beers out of the fridge. She makes an executive decision that tonight's pizza will be eaten straight from the box, so she doesn't grab any plates. But they both really need a drink, after the day they've had.

Eddie joins him on the couch, handing him a beer bottle as she sits down, tucking her feet up beside her. Jamie turns the tv on, but immediately mutes the volume. He doesn't care what's playing; he just needs something to focus his gaze on. They sit in a comfortable silence, drinking their beers while they wait for the pizza. Eddie leans into his arm lightly, the way she normally does when they end up sitting beside each other on one of their couches. This time, though, he lifts his arm and puts it around her shoulders, drawing her closer into his side. She rests her head on his chest and closes her eyes until the pizza arrives, just soaking in the nearness of him and listening to his heartbeat.

... ... ... ...

It's like they have an unspoken agreement that they will hold anything they want to say until after they've eaten, because their comfortable silence isn't interrupted by the arrival of the pizza. Jamie answers the door like it's his own apartment and pays the delivery guy, before closing the door and returning to the couch. When he sets the box on the table and flings it open, Eddie reaches for a slice hungrily and immediately begins eating. Jamie takes a slice of his own and begins to chew, somewhat less enthusiastically, but they still remain silent.

Twenty minutes later, the pizza is nearly gone and they both lean back into the couch. Jamie reaches for her hand that rests between them on the cushion and begins to rub his thumb across the back of it. She sighs contentedly, then slowly turns her head to look at him. When he looks at her, they both break into a slow smile.

"Jamie—"

"Eddie—"

They begin speaking at the same time, then cut themselves off with a chuckle.

Eddie stands up from the couch and begins to pace the room. Jamie sits back and watches her movements. He knows, when she's like this, he needs to sit back and let her lead, at least to start. So he waits for her to speak.

"Jamie, I can't keep doing this. You know I've had feelings for you for a long time, and you've obviously got deeper feelings for me than what you've admitted. I know we said we were going to keep it professional and not risk our friendship or our partnership. But with what just happened today, and what we've been through the last few weeks, not to mention everything else since literally the day we met, something has to give. I can't keep telling myself that I don't love you. And I know you think that us getting involved is a bad idea, and it's against the rules—"

"Screw the rules," Jamie finally cuts off her tirade, standing to join her in the middle of her living room. The look in his eyes is not what she expects to see, to say the least.

"Wh-what?" Eddie asks, surprised.

"Eddie, when you were shot…it forced me to think about some things I had been trying to bury deep inside for a long time. Feelings I was — frankly — scared to admit were there. You're my partner, but you're my best friend too."

She smiles at him as he echoes her words from the last time they dared discuss their feelings on a deeper level.

"If I'm your best friend, and you're my best friend, why do we feel like we can't talk to each other about this? We tell each other everything, Jamie. That's why our partnership works so well."

He takes a single step closer to her, and then another as he continues talking.

"When you realize you're in love with someone, it can be pretty scary. Especially when that someone is your best friend. Eddie, you are my best friend, and I am unquestionably in love with you, but I can't lose you. Not after Joe, and Vinny. If a small part of me felt like staying partners on the job and nothing else was the only way to keep you in my life and keep you safe, I couldn't drown out that noise."

By this time, he is standing right in front of her, his hands squeezing hers between them, as she looks up into his eyes that are searing with pain and fear and uncertainty.

"Reagan," Eddie starts softly. "We've spent years trusting each other with our lives. Don't you think it's time we started trusting each other with our hearts?"

She smiles at him, then he scrunches up his face in a twisted smile of his own.

"Yeah, I know." Eddie laughs. "Too girly."

Jamie lets himself laugh too.

"No. You're right. If I trust you enough to put my life in your hands every single day, why wouldn't I trust you with my heart too?" With that, he slides his arms around her waist like he did the last time they kissed and presses his forehead to hers.

"Now you're getting it," she replies, with a twinkle in her eye. He doesn't miss the reference.

"Benefits or not, I think you've already spoiled me for life."

Eddie throws her head back with one of her whole body laughs, and Jamie appreciates the way she feels in his arms. When she brings her forehead back to rest on his and closes her eyes, his eyes drift shut for a moment as well.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you the truth, but I love you."

She opens her eyes and gives him a look so tender, his heart constricts almost painfully.

"I love you too, Jamie."

This time, he leans in first and presses his lips to hers in a slow and meaningful kiss that promises so much hope for the future.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for coming back. More fluff and a little steam. Hope you like this one.

Now that they've gotten their confessions off of their chests, there is a definite sense of relief in the air. When they break apart to take a breath, they just smile at each other. Without saying a word, Eddie begins cleaning up the remains of their dinner and Jamie doesn't hesitate to assist her.

Before long, they find themselves back beside each other on her couch with almost no space between them and it's like they have to be touching in some way to keep themselves grounded. After so many years of denying their true feelings, they both almost feel like they could float away with the weight of their denials now lifted from their shoulders.

It starts slow, almost like shy teenagers in love for the first time, taking their time to get where they're going. Jamie takes her hand on the couch between them and starts rubbing circles with his thumb, while her head drops to his shoulder. Then Eddie shifts her body around so that she is turned to him and her other hand wraps around his upper arm. When he shifts slightly, her head comes off his shoulder to look at him and his free hand reaches to caress her cheek. At this, her eyes close gently. Next thing she knows, his lips are pressing softly against hers and her hand that was on his arm moves to his chest.

After a few seconds, Eddie fists his shirt where her hand rests on his chest and she pulls him into a deeper kiss. His hand on her cheek slides into her hair and he lets go of her other hand to wrap his arm around her waist. When he tugs lightly, just to have her that much closer to him, she almost knocks the wind out of him as she swings a leg across his lap and sits with her legs either side of him.

The make out session becomes heated in an instant, with hands in hair and running up and down arms and underneath shirts. His lips move to her neck and she sighs happily when she feels them whisper across her throat. Before he can reach her ear though, she pulls away with a giggle.

"Too ticklish," she tells him, her face lit up in a smile.

"Oh, really?" His eyes are laughing with her and his lips crack into a wide grin. "Ticklish, hmm? This could be fun."

He tries to pull her back to him to land his lips on her throat again, but she wriggles away and climbs off his lap. Instead, she holds her hands up, all trace of her smile gone, and levels him with a look he's only ever seen from her on the job. Definitely not after they've been kissing.

"Jamie. I love you, but I want to ask you something."

"Anything," he says, reaching for her. "Anything you want, it's yours."

She sits down beside him again and turns to face him. Her face tells him that she's worried about something.

"This might sound a little silly, so please just…just bare with me."

All Jamie can do is nod and wait for her to continue her thought.

"Like I said, this might sound silly, but…Jamie, can we try to take this slow?" When he opens his mouth, she puts her hand up to stop him. "Before you say anything, let me try to explain. I…have thought about this, hoped for this, wanted this for so, so long. I want to try to savor it a little, while I wrap my mind around the thought that this is really happening. I'm scared that, if we don't take a moment to slow down, we'll just jump right into bed and wake up tomorrow morning with regrets. And I don't want anything about you, or us, to ever be a regret."

"Eddie, if there is one thing I can promise you, with any degree of certainty, it's that I will never regret you. Or anything to do with you," Jamie tells her earnestly. "Well, except maybe wasting so much time holding you at arm's length," he finishes with a shrug.

Eddie has to laugh a little at that, but she just looks into his eyes and doesn't say anything yet.

"But if you want to take things slow," Jamie jumps back in, "that's what we'll do. I never want to pressure you into anything you don't think you're ready for. I love you, and I respect you, and I will spend every day trying to prove it to you, if you'll let me." He places his hand gently on her face again and makes sure she can see the honesty in his eyes.

She leans in to kiss him softly, then pulls him to her with her arms around his neck. His arms go around her waist instinctively, pulling her as close to him as they can get in that moment. His head falls to the crook of her neck and his breath there sends a shiver down her spine. He chuckles lightly at her shiver, then pulls away and reaches for the blanket she usually leaves on the back of her couch. While he drapes the blanket over her, she opens her mouth in a wide yawn that she quickly tries to cover with her hand.

"Sleepy?" Jamie asks with a smile. "It's been a crazy day, for both of us. I should go so you can get some rest."

"No," Eddie says, reaching for his hand as he moves to stand up. "Please stay. I want you here with me tonight. Please?" She's pleading with her words and her eyes, but it's not necessary.

"Of course," he says quietly, as he settles back into the couch again. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else anyway. I probably wouldn't be able to sleep at home tonight if I tried."

Together, they settle back into the couch and fall into a comfortable silence once again. The tv is still muted, but they are simply enjoying the time with each other, neither one really watching the screen. Every now and then, one of them will lean in for a kiss that often becomes a little more than just a kiss and then they'll pull away from each other with a smile and fall into silence again.

Jamie's arm around her doesn't stop moving. Running up and down her arm, rubbing circles on her back, lightly massaging her neck, playing in her hair. All things he's wanted to do for such a long time, and it all feels so comforting that Eddie can't believe they've spent so much time denying the way they feel. They stay awake a while longer, cuddling and kissing, talking a little here and there.

When Jamie yawns for the third time in as many minutes, Eddie sits up and stretches a little, then she stands and drags him with her.

"Come on," she tells him. "Let's go to bed."

The look he gives her is questioning, but he can't figure out which question to voice aloud.

"We're two adults who have finally admitted that they love each other," Eddie begins. "We can sleep in the same bed together. Besides, it's not like it's never happened before." Her eyes smile before her mouth does.

Jamie tilts his head and gives her a somewhat sad smile. Of course, he remembers the night she's referring to. The night he stopped by to check on her after her first fatal shooting and she asked him to stay with her. They sat on her couch with his arms around her while she cried for a long while, until the crying stopped and she was nearly asleep on his shoulder.

Wordlessly, he shifted so he could pick her up bridal style and carry her to her bed. Placing her gently on her unmade bed, he pulled the covers over her and moved to return to the couch, but she wrapped her hand around his wrist before he could take the first step.

When he turned back to look at her, she simply repeated her earlier statement. "I need you." So, as if to reinforce his own sentiment that he wasn't going anywhere, he silently removed his jacket and climbed into bed beside her, fully clothed.

"Nothing happened that night," Eddie breaks into his memories, "and nothing has to happen tonight, if we don't want it to."

"Oh, trust me," Jamie responds automatically. "I want it to, but—" he holds up a finger when she opens her mouth to say something sarcastic, "—we agreed to take it slow. So we'll just go to bed and sleep, just like last time."

"Except, maybe you don't have to sleep in your jeans this time," Eddie responds with a hint of hope in her voice and a gleam in her eye.

"That would certainly be more comfortable for me," he replies with a shrug. "I usually just sleep in boxers at home."

"Well, if that's how you sleep at home, feel free to sleep that way here. You won't get any complaints out of me." Eddie's mischievous grin causes him to grin too as he pokes her side and earns a giggle for his efforts.

She reaches for his hands and begins to pull him toward her bedroom, but he catches up with her and starts to tickle her again. This results in a short chase that ends when she backs into her bed and falls over, laughing hysterically.

Jamie lets himself fall beside her and snakes an arm around her waist, pulling her in for a kiss. When they part, they are both breathless.

"I don't think I will ever get tired of kissing you," he tells her quietly.

"Finally getting some of those benefits, huh?" At this, they both crack up laughing again until Eddie pulls herself up off the bed.

"I need to get ready for bed. Change, brush my teeth, that sorta thing. You'll be okay here for a few minutes?"

Jamie just nods and smiles, before pulling her back down to him for one more kiss.

As Eddie walks to her bathroom, he calls back to her, "Yep. Definitely spoiled for life."

She just laughs again and closes the bathroom door behind her. A few minutes later, the door opens and she steps out in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, making her way back to the bed. Jamie has propped himself up against her headboard with his hands folded across his chest and his eyes closed.

"Jamie? Babe." She shakes him gently awake, not at all surprised at how easily the term of endearment rolls off her tongue. "I found a new toothbrush in the cabinet, if you wanna go brush your teeth."

He stretches a little and nods at the idea, muttering a sleepy "thank you" as he walks to the bathroom. When he comes back, she's already under the covers, so he removes his jeans and t-shirt and drops them on the floor before crawling in to join her.

She lays on the far side of the bed, facing him, until he pulls her closer with an arm around her waist. Her hand presses on his bare chest and sends butterflies fluttering in her stomach. He kisses her forehead and smiles into her hair.

"Thank you for saving my life today." The emotion of the day is finally catching up to him and is now quite evident in his voice.

Eddie lifts her eyes to his. "I will always have your back. No matter what. You know that, right?"

"Of course I know that. And I'll always have yours," Jamie answers.

"I made some promises to myself a long time ago, and that was one of them. I'll always have your back. I'll always do my best to respect you, and try to earn your respect. You can always count on me, Jamie."

"I know, baby. And you can count on me, to always have your back, to wait for you if you fall behind, in everything we do. Eddie, if I didn't make it clear earlier, I am all in. One hundred percent. No more hesitation. No retreat, no surrender," he finishes with a smile.

Eddie laughs quietly at the Springsteen lyrics and presses her forehead into his chest, where she sneakily places a delicate kiss. When he lets out a small moan, she does it again. Her hands begin to wander his chest and his back, and she pushes herself up so she can plant a kiss on his lips. Everywhere her hands touch, she can feel his muscles tightening under her palm and it makes her breath hitch. Slowly, she trails kisses down his jawline and to his neck, just like he had done to her earlier. Then he feels her nibble on his earlobe, and he has to speak up before he loses all his self-control.

"What happened to, 'nothing has to happen tonight', huh, Janko?"

"Oh, who are we kidding?" Her lips are trailing down to his chest as she speaks. "That was never going to be the case, and we both know it."

As tired as they both are, they do take things slow, making love and learning each other's bodies in ways they had only dreamed of before. Clothes are shed quickly, hands and lips roam over bare skin, and the room fills with quiet moans of pleasure and contented sighs. When they are finally both spent, they fall asleep together, his arm around her naked form, and smiles on their faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you in Chapter 3! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back for Chapter 3! Enjoy!

Around 6 AM, Jamie wakes with a start as an idea dawns on him. Eddie groans at the movement, but rolls over and doesn't wake up. He slowly gets out of bed, making sure not to disturb her any more, and searches the dark floor for his boxers. He watches her sleep for a moment with a content smile on his face, before silently making his way out of the room.

In the living room, Jamie finds Eddie's copy of the patrol guide where they left it the last time they were studying for the Sergeant's Exam. Picking it up, he walks to the couch and begins his research.

More than an hour later, Eddie wakes up shivering in a cold bed and immediately fears that she was right: Jamie woke up and felt like they had made a mistake, so he quietly left to avoid the fallout of having to face her. Pulling herself up and out of bed, she reaches to the floor for her shorts and t-shirt before making her way to the bathroom with a sense of dread in the pit of her stomach.

Upon turning on the light switch in the bathroom, Eddie catches her reflection and realizes the shirt she's put on is not hers. It's the shirt Jamie was wearing the night before. Confused, she turns back to her room and turns on the lamp beside her bed. There on the floor, beside the t-shirt she was meant to sleep in, are Jamie's jeans from the previous night.

"No way he left without those," Eddie mutters to herself, starting to feel relieved, and makes her way to the living room to see if she can find Jamie.

As soon as she opens the bedroom door, she smells coffee and a smile creeps on her face. Entering her kitchen, she finds Jamie pulling two mugs from her cupboard like he's lived there for years.

"Good morning," she says quietly, trepidatious.

"Good morning, beautiful," he answers, turning around to find her approaching him slowly. As he smiles warmly at her, he opens his arms to her. Without hesitation, she steps closer to wrap her arms around his waist and bury her head in his chest. "I hope you don't mind. I made a pot of coffee."

"When have I ever turned down coffee," she asks into his chest, but she doesn't wait for a reply. "How long have you been awake?"

"Um." Jamie looks to the clock on the stove. "Almost two hours, I think. I'm not really sure." He shrugs and hands her a mug of piping hot coffee, prepared just the way she likes it.

"What have you been doing for two hours?" They walk together to her couch and sit down, with her settling into his side automatically as if they've always done it. He sets his coffee mug on the table in front of them and reaches for the patrol guide that's left open there.

"Research," he says, handing her the book.

"The patrol guide? What are you researching in the patrol guide so early in the morning?" Her eyebrows knit together in confusion, but she's really curious about what he's up to.

"Us," is his simple answer.

"Ok, Boy Scout, explain yourself because I'm lost." She sits up to look at him and places her own mug next to his on the table.

He gives her a smile, then answers with an air of pride, "There is nothing in there forbidding romantic relationships between partners."

"Yeah, right!" Eddie picks up her coffee mug and takes a sip while she waits for the punchline. "Oh. You're serious?"

"As a gunshot wound." Tilting his head a little and quirking his eyebrows, Jamie gives her a smirk.

Eddie returns his smirk wistfully before responding. "So…you're saying we don't have to be split up as partners?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. I just assumed, all this time, that it was a hard and fast rule that partners couldn't be romantically involved. I guess for some partners, it makes sense, like Kelsey and Paul. They obviously couldn't separate personal life from professional life. But I think you and I have been doing a pretty good job, don't you? I mean, I've never worked as well with anyone else as I do with you." Jamie finishes his little speech with a shrug and picks up his coffee while giving her time to process.

"Yeah, you've got a point there," she says with a smile. "Most people in the precinct say that we can practically read each other's minds. And everyone already thinks we've been doing it for…probably years now. Surely if the idea was that widespread in the precinct, we would have been split up a long time ago, right? A sergeant or other higher up must have heard it by now, and no one has ever said anything to either one of us. Ok, well, you convinced me."

Jamie replaces his coffee back on the table with a smile as she finishes her own speech, and not a second too soon, because the moment the last word leaves her mouth, she throws her arms around his neck with a girlish giggle. She kisses him hard, and his hands immediately lock around her waist, pulling her close.

"Actually," Jamie starts when she finally removes her lips from his, "that's not exactly true."

"What do you mean?" The look of confusion on Eddie's face is back.

"Well…do you remember that domestic call a few years back? Right before your probationary period ended? Guy was yelling at his girlfriend when we got there; I took her, you took him. And then he—"

"Pushed me to the ground, yeah, I remember that. You went after him, and Sarge had to pull you off."

"Yeah, well…he called me into his office for a chat later. Asked if I had…a 'thing' for you." He lets out a soft chuckle between thoughts. "I told him I didn't, but I guess he didn't believe me because he said I needed to take some time to think about how I felt about you. Made it clear that if I thought I might have feelings for you, he would separate us."

"Really? So what did you tell him after that?" Eddie is beyond surprised to hear about this years-old conversation.

"I went home and thought about it," he answers with a one-shoulder shrug. "I even talked to Erin. Very cryptic advice giver, by the way. I don't recommend going to her for romantic advice. Then I told Renzulli I had no intentions of getting involved with you and I wanted to remain work partners."

"Was that the truth? At the time?" Eddie can't stop herself from asking. "That you didn't have feelings for me?"

"I wanted it to be. But you did not make it easy for me." She gives him a knowing smirk and waits for him to continue. "The way you were always busting into the locker room after shift, with your hair in waves, looking like you were ready for a night on the town or something. Every time you smiled at me, it made it that much more difficult to maintain my conviction. And don't get me started on all the times you'd grab my arm or brush against me while we were out for drinks after tour. God, Eddie, you have no idea how torturous that was, all those years. Having you right there, but just out of reach, all because I told the boss that I wanted us to stay partners."

"You never told me about any of this. I mean, some of it, I get. But why didn't you tell me about the Renzulli thing?"

"And make it that much harder on myself? We had already kissed after that super weird double date, and then I just told you to get inside." Ashamed, he drops his head to his hand with a snort at the memory. "And the next day, you were the first one to say that it was a mistake."

"I did not say it was a mistake," Eddie jumps in. "I said I shouldn't have done it." She points a finger at him to prove her point, with a smile on her face.

"Ok, well, it felt like you were saying it was a mistake." Jamie lets himself laugh a little. The last thing he wants is to start an argument. "I just thought that if I told you what Renzulli said, one of three things could happen. One, you would just laugh and go on another tangent about how 'not your type' I was. I hadn't admitted to myself yet how much that hurt. Two, it would get super awkward and screw up our dynamic, maybe temporarily, maybe permanently. You had already proven yourself to be a pretty great partner, and I didn't want to risk that. Or three, you'd get mad at me for making it look like you couldn't take care of yourself, and I've always hated when you were mad at me, not matter how much I deserved it."

Eddie just leans into him and cuddles against his chest. Jamie manages to pull the blanket they had used the night before around them and settles back comfortably.

"Well, I can't tell you what I would have said if you had told me then. But I'm glad you told me now. Thank you for trusting me." She looks up to place a quick kiss on his cheek.

"I've trusted you since the first night we rode together, Janko. The way you handled yourself, seeing a fellow cop shot literally your first night on the job. Lots of rookies would have been terrified out of their minds, but you took it all in stride. And after you had my back against Salazar, instead of standing down and letting me be the bad guy all by myself against a fellow cop."

She sighs at the memories and snuggles in close again.

"I think I started to fall for you that first week we were partners. Maybe even the first night, when you introduced yourself outside the precinct. It started real slow. I was never jealous, at first. More like…disappointed, when you had dates or talked about guys. Disappointed at the thought that I might have to share you with someone else. But I fell in love with your smile. And your eyes. The way they lit up when you laughed. It was just something I had absolutely no control over, but I knew I never wanted to see you hurting. I always wanted to spend more time with you, as if riding eight inches away from you in an RMP all day wasn't enough."

His voice catches on the last word, and he moves her so that she's sitting up, looking at him. Then he places a hand on her cheek and her eyes drift shut for a moment. When they open, he speaks again.

"Eddie, it's not enough anymore. Not if you feel about me the same way I feel about you."

She sighs again, and whispers, "Jamie," before leaning in to kiss him deeply. He turns his body so that he can lay down on the couch and drags her on top of him. Similar to the night before, they take things somewhat slow, letting themselves explore and learn their best friend in new ways, relishing the idea of finally giving in to years worth of temptation.

Sometime later, they are laying side by side on the couch, with Eddie resting mostly on Jamie's chest and the blanket pulled tightly around themselves in her chilly apartment. Suddenly, Eddie's stomach growls and they both laugh at the sound.

"So what are you going to feed me, Reagan?" The smile on her face lights up the room, and he still can't believe she's smiling for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...what do you think so far?! Got a couple more chapters to go!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Hello, and welcome to Chapter 4 of This Is It! This chapter was so much fun to write! I hope you enjoy, and please leave a review! :) Also - this chapter has a little extra steam toward the end, but nothing explicit. ;)
> 
> Disclaimer: I keep forgetting these things! But I feel like it goes without saying. If I owned Blue Bloods or CBS in any way, would I really be posting fan fiction? Probably not. But here it is: I don't own the show, the production company, the actors, the ideas, the characters, any of it. Just a fan who needed a little more from this particular episode.

After they've both had showers, Jamie mentions that he needs to stop by his apartment for fresh clothes. By the time that task is complete, they both have growling stomachs and immediately begin discussing lunch options.

Deciding on a lunch spot has never been so difficult for them, but today, they are trying to think of a place they both like where they aren't likely to run into anyone from work. In the end, they settle on the little Chinese restaurant they went to during their recent suspension.

When the waitress returns with the plate of fortune cookies that Eddie once again requested before the meal, Jamie starts laughing quietly under his breath.

"What's so funny over there, Reagan?" Eddie's hands are folded on the table in front of her, but there's a smile on her face too.

"Oh, just thinking about the last time we were here. Funny how my fortune finally came true. Good thing I didn't let you read it, huh?" He looks at her with a smile that reaches all the way to his eyes and she has to laugh at him.

"You are…" she starts, but he jumps in easily.

"Charming? Handsome? Irresistible?" She laughs and hangs her head, but she can't help herself laughing with him.

"I was going to say ridiculous, but I guess those work too." He doesn't miss the roll of her eyes, but he can't stop staring at her smile either. He reaches across the table and takes her hand in his. Without breaking eye contact, he gives it a light squeeze.

"So, I was thinking about the rest of our day."

"Oh, our day, is it?" Her smile is back, and sometimes he hates how distracting it is. "That didn't take you long."

"C'mon. You know what I mean." He looks down at the table, but still smiles. "I would like to spend as much time with you today as I can, so I thought I'd run some ideas past you."

"I'm kidding, Jamie. Whatcha got?" She gives his hand a squeeze to reassure him.

"Well, I thought after we eat, maybe we could go for a walk. Or we could go back to my place or yours and just spend some time together. I guess it depends how many people you want around. And I was thinking about going to Mass this evening, so we could have the whole day together tomorrow, if you wanted. You could come with me, but that's definitely up to you. We could meet back at my place after, or make plans to meet for breakfast in the morning. Lots of thoughts, I know, but I wanted to give you a say. We can do whatever you're comfortable with." He finishes with a shrug, and though he has no idea how she'll respond to everything he's just said, his eyes convey some sense of hope.

"Oh, wow. You really have given it some thought, haven't you?" The look on her face is cautious, somewhat nervous, and she appreciates that he wants her thoughts on the day's agenda. "Ok. Um. I like the idea of going to one of our apartments and just hanging out. Maybe we could watch a movie. I think I'm gonna pass on church this time, but if you want to go today, that's fine with me. And you could come back to mine after. I'll cook dinner for us."

"Hmm." He looks thoughtful, like he's processing everything she just said. "Would you mind if I cooked dinner tonight? I've got a meal no girl can resist." His eyes twinkle with the idea, which sets loose the butterflies in Eddie's stomach.

"Oh, is that so, Mr. Reagan?" Eddie laughs, and now the butterflies in Jamie's stomach take flight. "Ok. Sure. You can cook tonight. What's the meal?" Her face lights up at the idea of Jamie cooking for her.

"Mm. Nope. Can't tell you. It's a surprise, but trust me, you'll like it." They just smile at each other for a moment, and before either of them can say anything else, the waitress returns to take their order.

... ... ... ...

While they eat, they continue discussing the rest of the day and have a loose plan by the time they leave the restaurant. They return to Eddie's apartment after lunch, where she convinces him to watch The Little Mermaid with her. She sings along to every song, of course, but is pleasantly surprised that he knows a couple songs as well. He claims it's because he used to babysit Nicky when she was going through her Disney princess phase.

During Kiss the Girl, he leans over and kisses her. She puts a hand on the back of his neck and pulls him down on top of her, turning the kiss into a steamy little make-out session. But right around the time the boat flips on screen, there's a clatter in the apartment, as Jamie loses his balance and falls to the floor between the couch and the table. Jamie isn't embarrassed, but the mood is sufficiently ruined. They just laugh it off as he climbs back up on the couch to sit beside her again, a smile still plastered on his face.

When the movie is over, Jamie leaves to get his apartment ready for the evening. It's already so difficult to be apart from her, even though they both know it will only be a few hours before they are together again.

Standing at her door, with his arms wrapped around her waist, he whispers his goodbye.

"I'll text you after Mass. So you'll know when to come by." She nods her head before he leans in for a soft kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too. See you soon, Boy Scout." He chuckles and rests his forehead on hers for a second, then kisses her again, and turns to leave.

Before returning to his apartment, he makes a grocery run to get everything he will need to cook dinner. At the store, Jamie can't take it any longer and sends her a text, just to let her know he's still thinking about her.

J: I miss you already.

Back at her apartment, Eddie hears her phone chime at the arrival of a new message. Opening the message, she smiles when she sees that it's from Jamie.

E: Mmm. Spoiled for life, are we? ;)

J: Absolutely. I can't wait to have my arms around you again.

E: Sounds perfect. But you have to be a good Catholic boy scout and go to Mass. I'll see you tonight. Promise. :*

J: Feels like forever until then. 3

Still smiling like a crazy person, Jamie finishes his shopping and heads back to his apartment. There's some tidying up to do in the living room, as well as the bedroom and bathroom (just in case, he tells himself), but he spends most of his time in the kitchen.

There are dishes and groceries to put away and counters to clean, but he can't do much more than that just yet. The pasta has to be made fresh before he boils it, and he can't warm up the bread until Eddie gets there, so he settles for preparing the salad. Once he's done everything he can, he goes to his bedroom to get ready for evening Mass, choosing nice dark wash jeans and a crisp button up shirt.

Leaving his apartment around 5 PM, he will have plenty of time for confession before Mass begins at 6 PM. Confession and Mass always make him feel better, even when he doesn't really feel guilty. He knows he should, but he has spent so many years fighting the way he feels about Eddie that all he can feel at this change in their relationship is relief. He tells this to the priest, who is surprisingly understanding of his plight. In place of his penance, the priest tells Jamie to spend the remaining 35 minutes before Mass considering what his feelings mean and what his intentions really are with Eddie.

By the time Mass is over, he knows he has to marry her. The way he's felt since the day she got shot tells him that he simply can't live without her anymore, but he tells himself that it's way too early to consider marriage. He knows in his heart that she's the one; he just has to be patient. After all, they only admitted that they loved each other the day before.

Just give it some more time, Reagan, he tells himself. You've waited years for this. What's a few more months?

Pulling his phone from his pocket on his way home, he sends Eddie a text.

J: On my way home now. See you at mine, around 7:30?

He doesn't even get his phone back in his pocket before it chirps with her reply.

E: Can't wait. I'm starving! ;)

His response is simply a kiss emoji, then he puts his phone away and practically runs back to his apartment to get started with dinner.

... ... ... ...

As he unlocks the door of his apartment, Jamie considers his plan of action for the evening. The first thing to do is start heating the oven to warm up the bread and get a pot of water boiling for the pasta. Then he retrieves an egg from the refrigerator and some flour to start working on the pasta dough. It's been some time since he's made homemade pasta, but he's soon working from muscle memory, pressing the dough together and getting ready to roll it out.

Just as he's putting the bread into the oven, he hears a knock at his door. Eddie stands on the other side, looking radiant, and his stomach does a few flips when she smiles up at him.

"Hello there, gorgeous," he says, opening the door for her to come in.

"Hi yourself, handsome." As she passes him, she pecks a kiss to his lips with a smile before proceeding into his apartment.

After removing her scarf and jacket, she joins him in the kitchen to see him pulling out a silver pasta mill and clamping it onto the edge of the counter.

"What is that contraption?" Eddie asks, raising an eyebrow.

Jamie laughs. "A pasta mill. You ever had homemade pasta before?"

"Um. Can't say that I have." This time, Eddie laughs with a shrug.

"Well, then. First time for everything, isn't there? Would you like to help me? It's not hard." He reassures her by reaching for her hand and pulling her to his side.

After cutting the ball of pasta dough in half and checking that the pasta water is nearly boiling, he shows her how to roll the dough through the mill using the hand crank on the side.

"This is the reason I asked you to help," he explains. "It can be tricky to catch the pasta as it comes out when you've only got one hand." He finishes with a laugh as the pasta sheet falls into her waiting hands. A few minutes later, he makes her stand there, holding the thin pasta stretched between her hands, while he changes the attachment on the mill to the one that will cut the sheet into strands. When that's done, he looks at her and grins.

"You ready?"

"What? No. Ready for what?" The nervous look on her face makes him lean in to place a kiss on her cheek before he explains.

"You'll put the sheet through the top while I turn the crank, and then you can catch the noodles at the bottom and put them in the pot behind you. You got this, Janko."

"Oh, my gosh. Ok, I guess," she agrees with a laugh.

As Jamie turns the crank and takes the end of the pasta sheet from her, Eddie quickly moves to catch all the noodles before they hit the floor and squeals with laughter when she misses some.

"It's fine. Drop them in the pot," Jamie laughs too.

Eddie spins around to drop the noodles into the boiling water with a small shriek. When she turns back to Jamie, he wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her in close to kiss her lips softly.

"I told you you could do it." The smile on his face reaches all the way to his eyes, and she can feel a smile spreading across her own face at the tone of his voice.

"Aw, shucks," she plays bashful. "So what's next, Chef Reagan?"

"Well, I need to make a quick sauce. The pasta won't take long in that water. And it smells like the bread is ready to come out of the oven."

"You made bread too?" Her voice is incredulous, making him smile once again.

"No, not this time," he says with a little chuckle. "I just bought some garlic bread at the bakery around the corner and warmed it up in the oven. I also didn't make the chocolate ganache cake that's waiting in the fridge right now." Her eyes light up at the mention of the cake.

She opens his refrigerator for a peek at the cake and mutters an "mmm" at the decadently decorated cake sitting next to the salad bowl.

"Will you grab the salad while you're in there, please? You could also pour some wine, if you'd like. It's on the counter over there." After Eddie places the salad bowl on the counter and begins to pour them each a glass of wine, Jamie drains the pasta and tosses it with the garlic and oil sauce he's whipped up.

Within minutes, he's plated their pasta and salads, each with a generous portion of bread, and calls her over to the table with him. She joins him with two glasses of wine and sits down beside him, a huge smile on her face.

"Thank you for having dinner with me tonight," Jamie says, taking her hand and returning the brilliant smile she's giving him.

"Thank you for cooking dinner," she replies, giving his hand a squeeze.

"Ah, don't thank me just yet," he says. When she tilts her head in confusion, he continues. "You haven't even tasted it yet."

At that, Eddie picks up her fork and twirls some pasta around it for her first taste. Jamie laughs when she closes her eyes and moans in delight before even swallowing the first bite.

"Jamie, this is delicious! Who taught you how to make this?"

"Dad and Grandpa," he answers with a shrug and another smile. "They taught all of us boys. Said we should know how to cook a couple things for ourselves for when we couldn't afford to eat out, but also to cook dinner for a girl." His eyes light up at the family memories. "It's never failed me yet," he says with a wink.

"Jameson Reagan," Eddie exclaims. "Just how many girls have you made pasta with?"

"Whoa now! Don't get all bent out of shape," he says with a laugh, holding his hands up in surrender. "I've only made this meal for about three girls total. But you, Eddie Janko, are the only girl I've ever let help me."

"Oh ho! And that's supposed to make me feel special?" The banter feels more like what they're used to, and they both notice how comfortable it is between them.

"Absolutely," Jamie answers. "I just shared some top secret Reagan family traditions with you over there." He leans back in his chair and smirks at her.

"So does that make me part of the Reagan family now?"

"Oh, I wouldn't go that far, Janko," he replies with a laugh, but thinks to himself, Hopefully one day, Eddie.

... ... ... ...

When they've finished their meal and cleaned up the kitchen a little, Jamie cuts them a generous slice of the chocolate ganache cake to share and pulls her to the couch with him. They sit cuddled up under a throw blanket and take turns feeding each other bites of the cake.

With the first bite he feeds her, Eddie's eyes drift shut and she lets out a quiet little moan. At the sound, Jamie's heart starts pounding and his jeans tighten just the slightest. Before they can finish the cake, however, Eddie points out a bit of icing on his lower lip and leans in to kiss it away. The moment is so tender, he doesn't even notice that she's taken the plate from his hand and set it down safely on the table until she's crawling into his lap again and both his hands are running through her hair.

This time is not soft and slow, like before. This time, they are desperate and wild. Eddie grabs his shirt to deepen the kiss and moans into his mouth when she feels his tongue on her lips. Her hands move to either side of his face while his hands drift to her backside, pulling her further into his arousal.

They're both looking for some much needed friction and soon, Jamie can't wait any longer. With his hands still firmly on her behind, he stands up and begins walking to his room with her legs locked around his waist. Their lips don't part until he gently drops her on his bed and crawls over her. Resting his weight on one hand, the other brushes her hair from her face and he smiles, before crashing his lips to hers again.

As his lips begin to wander, to her neck, her throat, her shoulders, he finds that he can't get enough of her whimpers and moans. They urge him on in a way he's never experienced before. Soon, they are both naked, and despite the fact that this is not their first time together, all the love and passion they've spent years fighting and bottling up finally bursts forth like an explosion.

Later, when they're both utterly exhausted, Jamie pulls the bed covers over their naked bodies and tucks her into his side. He presses a soft kiss to the crown of her head where it rests on his shoulder.

"If I could spend every day of my life like this, I'd die a very happy man," he tells her quietly. There's a smile on his face despite his tiredness.

She lifts her head to look him in the eyes. "Hmm. That sounds like a good idea to me." Mirroring his smile, she places a soft kiss on his lips and drops her head back to his chest. Then he hears her whisper. "I love you, Jamie."

"I love you too, Eddie." He rubs her back gently until they both drift off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, this chapter was a lot of fun to write. My husband and I like to make our own pasta and the method I wrote here is how we used to do it before we got a mill attachment for our stand mixer. It's fun but tricky. And while it's not likely that Jamie actually makes his own pasta (though he very well might), I thought this would be a fun 'date' for them. :) Still to come: Chapter 5!
> 
> Review, please? :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! Thanks for sticking with me. Here it is: the final chapter! I just couldn't wait to post any longer. Haha. Writing this story was so cathartic for me! I hope you've all enjoyed it. Please let me know your thoughts in a review or PM. :)

When Eddie wakes up the next morning, Jamie's arm is still draped across her bare back. The sun is shining through his bedroom window and lights up his peaceful face, which makes her smile when she rolls around to face him. Without opening his eyes, his arm around her tightens, pulling her to his chest.

He mutters sleepily, "Mmm. Come here." Tucking her head under his chin, she curls into his chest and wraps her arm around his waist. "I could absolutely get used to waking up beside a naked Eddie every day."

She smiles and sighs into his neck. "And I could get used to a naked Jamie. You're so warm," she says as she snuggles in closer.

"Warm enough for you to stay like this all day," he asks mischievously.

"Ooh. Tempting, but no." The smirk on her face betrays some mischief as well.

"No?" He pouts his lip a little to show his disappointment.

"No. I wanna make you breakfast," she says, pushing herself up off his chest, taking the sheet with her to cover some of her nakedness.

"Oh, you don't need that sheet," he jokes, trying to pull it away from her chest.

"Oh, but I can't make bacon in the nude," she replies with a laugh. "Do you have an old shirt I could wear? Maybe some shorts or sweatpants?"

"Sure, gimme a sec," he answers with a light laugh. He gets up and crosses to his dresser, still naked, to pull out a couple pairs of shorts and an oversized t-shirt. Returning to the bed, he hands her a pair of shorts and the shirt before slipping into the other pair of shorts himself. "You wanna freshen up before you make breakfast?"

"Nah, I'll just have to brush my teeth again after we eat. Unless you're telling me I have terrible morning breath and need to go brush my teeth now before I kiss you again," she looks at him suspiciously, earning a laugh that rumbles in his chest and stirs something inside her.

"No, babe. That is not at all what I'm saying." He pulls her to him and kisses her deeply to prove his point. "I was just asking if you wanted the bathroom before I run through the shower."

"You go ahead. Just follow your nose when you get out." She winks at him and sashays from the room. Watching her hips sway, he groans and scrubs his face with his hands, knowing that this woman might well be the death of him one day.

... ... ... ...

Jamie lets himself take a long, hot shower to loosen some of his stiff muscles, while Eddie works on breakfast. Their activities the night before had required the use of some muscles he hadn't used in a very long time. As the hot water runs down his back, he allows his train of thought to recall the way Eddie looked, laying on his bed, her hair spread out around her, with the moonlight shining through his window. He feels his chest tighten at the memory and his jaw clenches.

He momentarily switches off the hot water to cool himself down, before things get out of hand. After his quick cool off, he forces himself to think about something—anything—else and finish his shower.

Exiting his bedroom, he immediately smells coffee, eggs and bacon, toast, and—is that—? Yes, pancakes! His stomach growls as he approaches her at the stove, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder so he can watch her flip the last pancake on the griddle.

"Perfect timing, Reagan. This is the last one!" She turns her head to give him a quick kiss, then reaches for the plate that's already stacked high with pancakes.

"Good thing! I worked up an appetite last night," he says into her neck, then sneaks a kiss behind her ear where he now knows she is incredibly ticklish.

"Oh, no, you don't!" Eddie squeals and tries to twist out of his embrace, but his hands lock tightly together and she just ends up facing him, caught in the circle of his arms. "I thought you were hungry!"

"Believe me. I'm starving!" He manages to land one more kiss on her lips before she turns away to remove the last pancake from the griddle and turn off the burner.

When they are sitting down at the table with their full breakfast plates, she smiles at him.

"I was thinking. We should do something fun today," Eddie suggests.

"Last night was fun," he replies with a wink. She swats his shoulder and laughs at him.

"Something fun outside. Like a bike ride, or maybe a museum."

"Oh, what about mini golf? Hudson River Park has a fun course on Pier 25, and it probably won't be overcrowded on a Sunday," Jamie suggests with a bright smile.

Her faces lights up at the idea. "That sounds perfect," she says, then turns to her breakfast right as her stomach starts to growl as well.

Jamie says a silent prayer of thanks, for the food and for Eddie, before following her lead.

... ... ... ...

On the course, they feel like themselves—best friends spending time together not on the job, joking and laughing at each other's antics the way they always have. Jamie pokes fun at Eddie's putting skills and Eddie gets a kick out of the way he sets up his shots. All joking aside, they're both pretty good, and it's easy to see how much they enjoy the time together.

Jamie can't help but pull her in for a kiss every now and then. She usually has to remind him, though, that they are in public and have to behave themselves.

At the 12th hole, Eddie sinks her third hole in one. The look on her face when she turns to Jamie is pure excitement and pleasure, and it twists something inside him.

 _This is it_ , he tells himself. She retrieves her ball and walks back to him for a celebratory kiss. With her hands locked behind his neck and one arm around her waist, he looks at her with so much hope and conviction that she's surprised when he speaks in a huskier voice than usual.

"Marry me," he says. It's not a question, but he hopes she won't mind.

Flabbergasted, she looks at him like she can't believe her ears. Moving her hands to his chest so she can push away a little, she looks confused.

"What did you just say?"

"I said, marry me. Look, Eddie, I know it sounds crazy. It's not like we've been dating that long. Come to think of it, we actually haven't even talked about if we're dating or not," he realizes with a laugh. "But I love you. You love me. And we've been dancing around this—whatever this is—for entirely too long now. You got shot a few weeks ago and the thought that I almost lost you snapped something inside me. I almost got shot just two days ago, and we've barely left each other's side since. If those two unrelated events don't tell you that we don't have any more time to waste, I don't know what will." He drops his arm back to his side and shakes his head slowly. "I'm sorry for dropping a bomb on you like that. You can take whatever time you need to think about it before you give me an answer, but—"

"No," she cuts him off.

"No?" His face crumbles when he repeats the word.

Eddie shakes her head. "No—I mean, no, I don't need any time to think about it."

"Oh," Jamie breathes. He's afraid to hope this might go his way, but he waits for her to speak again before running away with his feelings.

"My answer is yes. Yes, I'll marry you." The smile on her face could outshine the sun, Jamie is certain of that.

"Really?" His smile spreads slowly, and when she just nods her head, he kisses her, hard. Several seconds later, she pulls back from him.

"Oh my God. We're getting married?!" The shock in her voice makes him laugh, because she's adorable when she's like this, but also because he can't really believe it either. "We're getting married," she practically shouts and a group nearby cheers for them.

Jamie is still laughing when she throws her arms around his neck again. He brings both his arms around her waist and drops his head to her neck to calm his heart rate for a moment. Then his arms around her waist tighten ever so slightly and he lifts her off her feet, spinning them around a couple times before setting her back on her feet. She giggles girlishly while they spin, and closes her eyes blissfully when he rests his forehead on hers, a silent (ecstatic) tear trailing from her eye. He opens his eyes to watch her face, a blissful smile plastered on his own face, and in that exact moment, he knows he's never felt so happy in his life.

... ... ... ...

After they leave the course, they decide to pick up something for lunch and bring it to Jamie's apartment. Basking in the happiness of their engagement, they just want to be alone. When they've finished eating, they settle on the couch, with his head in her lap. She's running her fingers through his hair when he speaks quietly, looking up at her.

"I'm sorry I don't have a ring. I can get my mom's ring from my dad after dinner tonight, if you want. Sydney wore it while we were engaged, but we could get the stone reset, or recast the whole thing, if the family is okay with that." Eddie continues playing in his hair, knowing by the look on his face that he isn't finished with his thought yet. "Or we can go shopping together and get a ring that's just for you, if you don't want any part of the ring from my failed engagement." He laughs sadly at that slightly sobering thought.

"Jamie," Eddie finally says. "If you want me to wear your mother's ring, I will happily wear it. As long as you are the one placing it on my finger. I'm not afraid of any bad juju you think it might hold. But tonight? You want to tell your dad tonight?" Her voice is laced with uncertainty.

"Well…yeah. Why wait?" He sits up for the next part. "I thought…maybe… _we_ could tell them. Together. At dinner tonight." He eases into the idea, but her eyes grow wide as he speaks.

"Wait. _Them_? Like, the whole family?" He just nods in response. "That might be too much, too soon. I don't know if I'm ready for a Reagan family dinner just yet, Jamie."

"Eddie. Babe. There's nothing for you to worry about. They already love you as much as I do. Well, maybe not _as much_ as I do." He pauses for a chuckle. "And if they don't, it won't take them long. Trust me." He smiles and places a hand on her cheek so she'll look at him. "But I understand if you think it's too overwhelming right now. You don't have to come with me if you don't want. And I can get the ring some other time, if you're not comfortable telling my dad yet."

"No," she shakes her head. "You're right. Why wait? Besides, we're getting married. I have to get used to these family dinners some time, right?"

"Right," he agrees and leans in for a kiss. Resting his forehead on hers, he takes in a deep breath. "I hope you know, Eddie, I meant what I said the other night. And yesterday morning," he adds with a smirk.

"Which part?" Her voice is tinted with laughter.

"All of it. Every word," Jamie replies with a sigh. "Every word I've said to you since I brought you home Friday night."

"Just since Friday?" Eddie smiles at him.

"No. You know what I mean, Janko." Jamie replies and rubs his hand across his forehead like he's getting frustrated, but the smile on his face gives him away. "I love you. I respect you. I want you to always trust me, just like I trust you. I will always watch out for you and I'll always have your back. And I'll spend every day, for the rest of my life, trying to show you just what all of that means to me. What you mean to me."

Eddie looks at him tenderly and takes a deep breath.

"So. Confession time."

Jamie leans into the back of the couch with his arm draped around her shoulders and sets her with a look of utter confusion.

"Those promises I said I made to myself a long time ago?" Her question hangs in the air while he nods at the memory of her words. "Well, I did make a few promises to myself, but they were all about you. And," she takes another breath before finishing her thought, "for a while now, I've sorta thought of them as my vows to you."

Jamie's face breaks into a smile and then he starts to laugh. Her expression switches from mildly embarrassed to slightly upset in a second.

"I mean, vows for, like, our partnership and our friendship. Not—"

"No," Jamie interrupts, still smiling. "I know what you mean. Because that's basically how I've thought about everything I just said for months now. My vows to you."

"Really?" The surprise in her voice is evident, but she's smiling now. He nods again, with a twinkle in his eye.

"Really."

"Well, ok. Maybe we should start there. That can be the first thing we do for the wedding! Write our vows." She notices a notepad and pen on the table in front of them and slides off the couch to the floor as she reaches for it. Sitting on the floor between Jamie's legs, she starts to write down some ideas, looking back at him every now and then for his input.

He leans forward so he can read over her shoulder and places a kiss on the top of her head. There are several pages ripped off the pad and crumbled on the table, and the page she's writing on has lots of words crossed out. An hour later, she rips the top page off of the notepad and uses the clean page underneath to begin copying a neat version of their final vows.

They're both smiling, facing each other on the couch, as they take turns reciting their vows to make sure they're really happy with the end result.

Eddie reaches out and takes one of his hands in hers.

"I will always have your back."

Jamie uses his free hand to grab her other hand, so their position mirrors the way they will stand on their wedding day.

"If you fall behind, I'll wait up."

"I'll earn your respect, and pay you respect, every day we have."

"I'll be your scout, your night watchman, your cavalry."

"Your medic, your chaplain, in our army of two."

"No retreat," he begins.

"No surrender," they say together, with smiles on both their faces.

"You can count on me," Jamie manages shakily.

"And you can count on me," Eddie finishes. She can't resist leaning in to kiss him again. "I love you, Jameson."

"I love you too, Edit," he replies.

They laugh together and, satisfied, lay down to cuddle on the couch, soaking in the realness of the situation.

... ... ... ...

A couple hours later, Jamies jerks awake and immediately looks at his watch.

"Oh, crap. Eddie, wake up, baby. We fell asleep."

"Mmm," Eddie groans, while rubbing her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"We're gonna be late for family dinner. I should have been on the road 15 minutes ago," Jamie explains in a rush, trying to get up off the couch.

Still groggy, Eddie tries to understand what he's saying to her. It doesn't take long for a look of realization to cross her face and she jumps up too.

"Oh, great. My first family dinner and we're gonna be late. What kind of impression is this gonna give everyone about me?" Eddie is rushing around behind Jamie gathering her shoes and jacket, trying to comb through her hair a little, and pinching some color back into her cheeks.

Jamie laughs softly at her unnecessary worry and reminds her, "I told you, they'll love you. Danny will be upset I made him wait to eat, but it'll be fine."

"What do you mean? Wait to eat?" She looks confused again.

"No one eats until everyone is at the table, so they'll all be waiting for us. Well, waiting for me," he corrects with a wink. "So we gotta go. You ready?"

"Um. I guess so," she shrugs and follows him out the door.

In the car, she's fidgeting with her fingers like she does sometimes when she's nervous. Jamie recognizes this habit from all their time in the RMP and reaches for her hands to settle her nerves. When she realizes what he's doing, she sighs and looks over at him with a smile, loving the fact that he knows her so well.

"I promise, it won't be as bad as you're thinking. I can go in first, if you want, kinda set the scene before you come in. They'll be surprised, I'm sure, but they will all be happy for me. For us," he adds quickly, with a squeeze of her hand. "And that will give you a moment to check your nerves at the door," he says with a huffy laugh.

"Ok, fine. I'm nervous. Laugh at me all you want. But you know your family can be a little intimidating," she tries to reason with him.

"Eddie, I'm pretty sure you've met everyone at that table at least once."

"But not as your fiancée! Jamie, as far as any of them know, yesterday I was still just your partner at work. And now I'm going to just walk into the Commissioner's house and tell the whole family we're getting married? And we want to stay partners on the job." She knows she's probably overreacting a little, but the sudden shift in their relationship is finally starting to sink in.

"That's exactly what we are about to do. I will be right there with you the whole time. Remember our vows? _You can count on me_. That's always been true, babe. Since the night we met." He smiles at her across the car and tugs her hand to his lips for a quick kiss. "And we don't have to tell them we want to stay partners unless someone brings it up. If it does come up, we can let them hear our vows to prove that we aren't taking this lightly, if you're okay with that. We can do this together, I promise."

"Ok," Eddie concedes. "I trust you."

"Honestly though, I don't think anyone will be _that_ surprised." She gives him a quizzical look and he continues. "I think they all have some idea of what you mean to me. At least the adults do. Erin definitely knows!" His chest puffs out with a short laugh.

"What do you mean, Erin definitely knows? We hadn't even told each other until two days ago."

"Yeah, but remember I told you I talked to her years ago, after Renzulli confronted me about my feelings for you?" He pauses a second and Eddie nods. "She thought, even then, that I was stupid to only be your partner on the job. And a few weeks ago, when you got shot, she and I went out for drinks and she made it pretty obvious that she still thinks I'm stupid for not giving in to my feelings."

"She told you that?" Eddie is shocked at Erin's opinion of their relationship.

"Not in so many words, but that was the general idea," Jamie smiles again. "She'll be pretty pleased that this is finally happening. She'll finally be able to say _I told you so_." They both laugh at this.

Eddie knows they are almost there and she wants to go over the plan again.

"Ok, so you'll go in and tell them before I have to face the jury?"

"Oh, no," he laughs quietly. "We're going to tell them together. But I can go in and set a place for you while you wait in the entryway. There won't be a chair or place setting since no one was expecting you to be there."

"And how will I know when you're ready for me to come in," she asks.

"I don't know, I'll call you in or something," he replies with a shrug.

"So I'll just walk in the room and tell them we're getting married?" He's starting to feel like a perp with all the questions she's asking, but he tries to laugh again.

"No, babe. We'll just play it by ear. See how the room reacts one step at a time. We don't have to have a play by play game plan, Janko." There's still a smile on his face, but she's obviously really nervous.

"Ok. Fine. I'll try to calm down."

When Jamie parks the car outside his dad's house, he runs around to her door and opens it for her.

"Not as late as I thought we'd be. Come on. Everyone will be waiting," he tells her as he takes her hand.

Walking up to the door, he pulls her to a halt and asks, "You ready for this?"

She gives him one of her brilliant smiles that he first fell in love with and replies, "As I'll ever be."

"Let's do this," he says, then starts walking to the door again.

She knows that this is just the beginning of a beautiful life with the man she's been in love with for years. After the terror of thinking she was going to lose him, just two days before, standing here now, holding his hand, she's the happiest she's ever been. A massive weight has been lifted from her shoulders, and she thinks from his as well, and they can finally start living the life they've been denying themselves for so long.

With his hand on the doorknob, Jamie pulls her in for a quick kiss and whispers, "I love you."

She barely has time to say it back before he pushes open the door with a, "Hey! Sorry!" to the unsuspecting crowd inside.

While he goes in to 'set the scene,' as he put it, she stands in the entryway and takes a deep breath, thinking to herself, _This is it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap! I really hope you enjoyed this chapter and this story. I'm beyond proud of this one, and hopefully that shows in my writing! Side note: I've never been to NYC so I don't know for sure that Pier 25 is where Jamie proposed, but using the scene in 09x03 as reference and comparing to Google Images, it seems highly likely. Apologies if anything seems inaccurate.
> 
> I have several ideas for other, shorter, stories for these two. Hopefully I can take some time out of my crazy schedule to get some of those down soon.
> 
> Please leave a review and let me know how you felt about this chapter, or the story overall. I love hearing from y'all! :)

**Author's Note:**

> To be continued. :)


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